How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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