I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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