Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
