she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
