I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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