How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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