Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
