I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
