My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
