I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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