so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
