We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
