Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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