I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
