like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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