Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
