I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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