So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
