she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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