don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
