go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
