and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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