Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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