Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
