she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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