Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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