lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
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So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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