Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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