brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
