Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
