if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
