I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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