I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
