in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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