I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Houston, we have a blender
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
