wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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