is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize