Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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