all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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