The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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