My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
