i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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