I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize