I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
