so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Houston, we have a blender
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
