Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
