physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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