i just wanna soil my oats bro
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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