I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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