I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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