ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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