I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
In America we eat man semen.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
