I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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