Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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