How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize