Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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