Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
