hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
