so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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