why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
