Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
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