the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
