Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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