she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
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My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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