It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
