Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
